The
Doctor felt as if he had a hangover. That in itself was strange, because
he had never had a hangover in his life and he wondered briefly how he
knew this is what a hangover feels like.
Thinking about anything that complicated hurt. He stopped
thinking at all for several minutes, then he tried again.
Hungover was the best description. His head pounded like
he could never remember it pounding in his life. Even regeneration didn’t
do that to him. He felt nauseous. He felt uncomfortable.
He was lying on some kind of bed with the hardest mattress
he had ever known. He had, of course, slept in places where a mattress
wasn’t an option. He had spent many happy hours lying on the thin
sleep mats of the meditative monks of China and Tibet and Malvoria. He
had slept in U.N.I.T. barracks on standard army issue beds. He had slept
in tents and on the bare ground when it was necessary. He wasn’t
a person who expected pocket sprung mattresses every time he laid down
his head. But when he DID sleep on a mattress he expected it to be better
than this one.
He tried to move to a more comfortable position, and found
that he couldn’t. His arms and legs were in some kind of restraint.
Ok, he thought. I’m in trouble.
He opened his eyes and looked up at a white ceiling with
the light fitting flush with it. Possibly the most boring ceiling he had
ever seen. It didn’t even have any interesting cracks or patches
of damp that the imagination could work on while forced to look up at
it.
He turned his head and saw a room with no other furniture
but the bed he was restrained in. There was a door with a very small window
in it that he just knew was locked.
And he was fairly certain he did not have his sonic screwdriver
on him.
He didn’t have very MUCH on him. He seemed to be
wearing a sort of hospital gown. The sort with no buttons or waistbands
or belts or anything a patient could harm themselves or others with.
He turned his head slowly and took in every detail of
the room. Such as it was. In the centre of the wall directly opposite
the bed was something he probably wasn’t supposed to see.
A spy hole. A very small one, like people used in front
doors to check who was knocking.
So he was being observed.
He looked around again at the door. Definitely locked
and he had no idea what was behind it, or who. This was not the time to
attempt to break out. He needed to know what he was up against, first.
He didn’t want to break out of anything with a headache.
He closed his eyes again and concentrated his mind on the pain. He focussed
on the nerves that were hurting and soothed them until the headache went
away.
He felt better now.
But he still didn’t know where he was, or why he
was there.
He tried to remember. He had been in the TARDIS. It was
after he left Jasmin and Alec. He had told them he was going to visit
Wyn and Stella in Wales. He set what should have been a simple co-ordinate.
He just had to travel from Manchester to Wales. Jasmin and Alec had teased
him saying it would be easier to put the TARDIS on the train as freight
and travel in a nice first class carriage. They were making bets on how
far back in time he would wind up instead of arriving in Llanfairfach
a few hours after he left.
And that was the last thing he remembered. Everything
after that was a blur. He thought he could recall the TARDIS falling.
Did it crash? Was he in a hospital? There WAS a clinical look to the place.
That was a bit worrying. He didn’t like hospitals. He especially
didn’t like Earth ones. Doctors tended to get a bit strange when
they found out he was an alien.
Was that why he was restrained? Was he being held until
some expert on aliens came to probe him and dissect him, take samples
of his blood to test?
Oh, bloody hell, he thought.
Not TORCHWOOD!
He was lying there for another hour, still trying to remember
what had happened to land him here in this situation, and what he could
do to get out of it. He kept very still and quiet outwardly, to make the
job of observing him as boring as possible for whoever was doing the observing.
He tried to relax and remember more about his otherwise routine TARDIS
journey. He had been happy. He was looking forward to seeing Wyn and Stella.
Wyn had made a lot of her life since she had travelled with him. She had
got her university qualifications. She was a professor – a DOCTOR
of science. She followed in his footsteps.
No, he reminded himself. That wasn’t true. She had
followed her father, Professor Clifford Jones, who had won a Nobel Prize
by the age of twenty-five. Just about as brilliant a man as a Human could
be with the limitations of that race.
Wyn was a scientist and a teacher. Like her dad. But he
could at least take credit for pointing her in the right direction, showing
her she WAS good enough and giving her the strength to try.
“Oh Wyn, love, I WILL get to you. I promise. Just
as soon as I get out of here.”
Thinking of his friends made him sad. Because he WAS a
prisoner in some way, trapped and unable to reach them. He felt lonely.
There was a sound of a lock turning and then the door
opened. Three people came in. one was dressed in a tweedy suit and had
the look of a doctor. The other two looked like male nurses – in
the sense that they were wearing the regulation clothes, but they were
both heavyset men with permanent scowls that didn’t go with the
idea of a caring profession. If they were actors, he would have expected
them to be typecast as ‘henchman’. One of them had wheeled
in a trolley with syringes and other medical equipment on it.
“So, Mr Clay,” the doctor-type said. “Good
to see you awake at last. Are you feeling calmer now? Do you feel ready
to rejoin the other patients in the general ward instead of having to
be isolated like this?”
“Mr who?” he asked. “That’s not
my name.”
“Martin Clay, insurance salesman. Sectioned under
the Mental Health Act because of delusionary behaviour that made you a
danger to yourself and others.”
“My name is NOT Martin Clay,” he answered.
“There has been a mistake. Mistaken identity. I am The Doctor.”
The doctor-type sighed wearily.
“We’ve been through this before. This whole
fantasy you have woven around yourself, this fiction about being from
another planet, is what is preventing you from making a full recovery
and returning to your ordinary life.”
“I don’t HAVE an ordinary life,” he
replied. “I’m The Doctor. I am a Time Lord. I am the LAST
Time Lord.”
“Mr Clay… Martin…” the doctor
sighed again. “Please try to co-operate. It will be better for you
if you do.”
“I am NOT called Martin,” he responded. “I
am not an insurance salesman and I should NOT be here. Let me go or you
will be sorry.”
“Martin, you have been told before, you must not
say things that sound like a threat. We will have to punish you if you
do that. You have been isolated from the other patients because of your
unreasonable behaviour. I don’t want to have to make you suffer
any further. But if you continue to act this way I will have no other
choice.”
“Let me go,” he repeated. “I don’t
belong here. This is a mistake. I am NOT Martin Clay.”
“You ARE Martin Clay. You are thirty-six years old.
You are an insurance salesman from Guildford. You had a nervous breakdown
after your marriage broke down and your wife left you.”
“My wife?” The Doctor flexed his left hand
in the restraint. He could see that a ring had been removed from his finger.
There was a white mark where it should be. “My wife is a lovely
woman who lives on a planet covered in huge forests. She lives in a tree
top village and weaves silk. She is called Dominique. We have a son called
Dominic.”
“Your wife is called Sandra. You have a son called
Brian. Sandra left you for another man, your office supervisor. You knew
nothing about the affair until you came home from work and found her and
your son gone.”
“That’s not true,” he replied. “I’ve
never even MET anyone called Sandra in my life.”
“Your life…” the doctor smiled quizzically.
“All right, let’s play it your way. If we work through this
delusion fully we might find a way of breaking you out of it. You say
you are called The Doctor. And you are a Time Lord.”
“Yes, I AM a Time Lord. I come from the planet Gallifrey
in the Kasterborus constellation. From Earth it forms the bow of the constellation
Sagittarius. I am over 1,000 years old and this is my tenth incarnation.
My body can regenerate twelve times, allowing me to renew myself if my
body is fatally damaged.”
“You’re from where?”
“Gallifrey, in the constellation of Kasterborus.
It was the second planet of our solar system and the centre of our dominion.”
“Was?”
“It was destroyed in the Time War. The whole system
was destroyed. Everyone is dead. Except me.”
“And how did you escape? Don’t tell me, when
you were a baby your parents put you into a travel pod and launched you
into space and you landed on Earth as a little boy and were adopted by
a farmer and his wife…”
“Don’t be silly,” The Doctor responded.
“That’s Superman.”
“You know Superman? He’s a friend of yours?”
“He’s a fictional character from an American
comic book and movie and TV series. He’s not real. I AM!”
“Well of course you’re REAL,” the doctor
told him. “So tell me what is different about a Time Lord to a Human?
You can’t fly and run faster than a speeding train like Superman?”
“No. But I do have two hearts and I have blood that
is different to yours. You must have examined me physically. You know
that.”
“You have an unusual birth defect. The secondary
heart. It is in your medical records. Your parents were told when you
were a baby that it happens once in ten million births. It is a harmless
anomaly. It doesn’t make you from another planet. And your blood
– you were born with a rare condition. Your blood contains no iron.
Your red blood cells are lighter than usual as a result, and your blood
looks different to the naked eye. Again, this is not doing you any harm,
although it does mean that you have to take vitamin supplements daily
to prevent anaemia. You ARE an ordinary Human being, Martin, despite your
unusual physiology. You got it into your head that you were different.
You invented this world – this world that no longer exists, that
cannot be found on any star chart – because you wanted to be different.
You wanted to be more than a salesman. There was no chance of promotion,
no other employment prospects. You were nobody and you wanted to be somebody
so you invented a world of your own, made yourself into something else.
And that would have been fine if you just went around talking to yourself
in the street and staring up at the stars. But trying to break into a
nuclear power plant because you thought there were aliens using the reactor
to power their starship – that was when you went too far. That was
when you had to be sectioned. For your own safety.”
“I never did anything of the sort,” The Doctor
protested. “This is the fiction. Martin Clay is the fantasy, the
one who doesn’t exist. I AM THE DOCTOR.”
“Don’t shout,” the doctor told him in
a very calm, quiet voice. “You must not shout. If you shout you
will be punished.”
“I am The Doctor. I am a Time Lord. You are holding
me under false pretences. And you WILL be sorry for it.”
“Another threat? I AM sorry, Martin, because I don’t
want to have to do this. But threatening behaviour is not tolerated from
patients. You know the rules.” The doctor stepped back and nodded
to the ‘heavies’. One of them stepped forward and held The
Doctor’s arm while the other one prepared a syringe. He struggled.
Of course he did. He had no idea what was being injected into him. It
could have been a harmless sedative that wouldn’t even make him
drowsy or pure aspirin that would kill him in seconds.
It was a neural inhibitor. As the drug circulated through
his blood stream The Doctor couldn’t help but cry out. Neural inhibitors
were painful. They paralysed his body while causing him excruciating agony
in all of his muscles. As it spread he couldn’t even scream. His
vocal chords seized up. He could just about breathe and his hearts kept
beating. But that was all.
He was unstrapped from the bed and dragged between the
two ‘heavies’ along the corridor. His feet touched the ground
and he tried to walk, but really he was just being hauled along.
He was put into the padded cell. The heavies put him into
a straitjacket and pushed him down on the floor and then they turned away.
“Just you take some time to think about your situation,”
the doctor told him. “I’ll talk to you again tomorrow.”
The door closed. The Doctor was alone in the cell. He
was lying hunched up on his side. It was uncomfortable, but he couldn’t
move. The neural inhibitor had frozen his body and would not wear off
for several hours yet.
His mind still worked, though. Neural inhibitor! That
meant one thing.
They KNEW he was a Time Lord. This insistence on him being
some insurance salesman called Martin Clay wasn’t a mistake. They
knew who he really was. They knew ordinary drugs wouldn’t work on
him. And somebody had told them HOW to subdue a Time Lord.
His mind was still free. Nothing and nobody could take
that away from him.
He let his mind do the exploring that his body couldn’t.
His mind didn’t have to be confined to a padded cell. It didn’t
have to be confined anywhere. He reached out mentally, feeling for the
minds around him. He found a lot of them that were fractured and confused.
That didn’t entirely surprise him. If this WAS some kind of mental
institution then that was bound to be the case. He touched some of them
briefly and found grief and pain, and fear. They were all afraid of the
man who had spoken to him. They called him Doctor Marsh, and his methods
were barbaric even for the inexact science of psychiatry. The flashes
of memory of the ‘punishments’, the remembrance of cold and
bright light and overwhelming pain that he picked up from them disturbed
him deeply. Not the least because he had been threatened with the same
punishments later.
He moved away from the patients. They were too hurt to
tell him anything other than that they were deeply unhappy about being
here. He focussed on the nurses. They weren’t all the thuggish types.
Some of them seemed to be pleasant looking young women with scrubbed faces
and neatly pinned up hair who chose a career helping people. He fixed
on one of them as she moved down the corridor pushing a trolley with medication.
He could see the building through her eyes as she went into the large
common room where a lot of the patients were. He noticed that these ones
seemed less frightened, less hurt than the first ones he had found. These
seemed like people who were getting better, slowly. The nurse chatted
with them and they responded. Some of their conversations were disjointed
and peculiar. There were a few delusions that would be amusing if they
weren’t tragic, but these were just people who needed looking after
because for one reason or another they couldn’t look after themselves.
The others he had found seemed to be receiving a different kind of treatment.
She finished giving out the medication and sat at the
nurses desk with two other young women. One gave her a newspaper to read.
The Doctor focussed very hard on the main story. It was about the decision
in parliament to stop giving free milk to schoolchildren over seven.
“Thatcher The Milk snatcher” the alliterative
headline said of the Education Secretary who had made that decision. That
told him several things that he needed to know.
It was the summer of 1971 and he was somewhere in England.
1971! Methods of psychiatric treatment were hardly sophisticated
even when they weren’t in the hands of the sort of sadistic bully
who those patients feared. Electric shock, drugs that befuddled the mind
even further, and if all else failed, a straitjacket and a padded cell.
But WHERE exactly was he? The nurse looked up and around
at the patients, casting a practiced eye around the room. It was large,
with a linoleum floor on which rugs were scattered here and there, tables
and chairs where patients in pyjamas and dressing gowns and slippers played
dominos or card games, and windows that had wire mesh running through
them to make them unbreakable.
There was something slightly familiar about the room,
but for the moment he couldn’t think why. Of course, it looked much
like every day room in just about every hospital in late 20th century
Earth. And maybe that was the reason. But he kept thinking he had been
there before.
One of the other nurses stood up and reached for her coat.
It seemed to be the end of her shift. The Doctor fixed his concentration
on her instead and found himself in her mind, looking out of her eyes
now. He saw her go down the stairs to the reception and sign herself off
duty and step out through double doors.
The hospital was a big old country house set in gardens
of flower beds and neatly cut lawns. And that, too, looked familiar. As
the nurse turned to wave at somebody who had called out to her he saw
the name on a wooden sign.
Brockley Hall.
“Brockley Hall?” said Brigadier Alistair Lethbridge
Stewart to his scientific adviser. “You’re telling me you’re
picking up a trace signal from another TARDIS at Brockley Hall?”
“You know the place?” asked The Doctor as
he passed the Brigadier a clipboard with the printout of his readings
on it.
“This means nothing to me, Doctor.” The Brigadier
passed the clipboard back. “That’s why I have a scientific
adviser. So I don’t HAVE to understand gobbledegook like that. Give
me a piece of Military Intelligence and I’m your man.”
“Well, take my word for it, then. There’s
a TARDIS there. It has a dampener on its Dimensional Recognition Device,
so I can’t identify WHOSE TARDIS it is, but it’s a TARDIS.”
“We’ve got an operative working undercover
at Brockley Hall trying to find out what’s going on there,”
the Brigadier continued. “We know something sinister IS happening.
But we don’t know what. And now you say there’s a TARDIS there.
The Master?”
“He’d be my first guess. Most of the other
Time Lords avoid Earth like the plague. If he’s involved you’d
better tell your man to be careful.”
“Not MY man,” the Brigadier said. “YOUR
girl. I was going to tell you, but you sent this memo up to me about Brockley
Hall.”
Brockley Hall! The Doctor breathed in deeply. Or as deeply
as he could with his body still painfully paralysed. Now he remembered.
It was the place he had rescued Dodo from in 1967. There was a Doctor
Warner in charge then, he recalled. Marsh must have taken over from him.
Okay. He knew WHERE he was. But he still didn’t
know WHY.
“It’s no use, Doctor,” the Brigadier
told him. “The bods at Whitehall are being stubborn about it. They
say they can’t authorise a military raid on a private medical institution
without proof that something is going on there that is a danger to national
security.”
“You told them you suspect The Master is there?”
“Yes, but there’s a new chap in charge. He
doesn’t seem to grasp how much of a threat The Master is. I don’t
think he actually BELIEVES that either you or him are REALLY from another
planet. I’m not even sure he believes what we are here at U.N.I.T.
for. ”
“Tell him from me, he’s a short-sighted fool.”
“I would be delighted to,” The Brigadier said.
“But unlike you I NEED this job.”
“Goodness KNOWS what The Master could be doing there.
And we’re tied down by red tape from Whitehall. You know, if I wanted
to bandy words with civil servants, I could have stayed on Gallifrey.
At least Time Lords are arrogant because they ARE superior to everyone
else. Not because they think they went to a better public school.”
The Brigadier wondered briefly if he could get a transfer
to the Gallifreyan military.
The Doctor felt a sudden icy cold. He withdrew his mind
sharply from its wandering through the hospital. He became aware that
he was soaking wet. He could move his head slightly now as the neural
inhibitor began to wear off, and he saw the hose pipe aimed through the
small spy door in the centre of the big, locked main door. Freezing water
sprayed him cruelly. He couldn’t even regulate his body temperature
while the inhibitor held him in its grip. He was powerless. He lay hunched
up and shivering with the cold, hoping they would stop soon.
They did, but wet and cold he continued to shiver, alone
in the cell, still unable to move his limbs.
“Electric shock next,” said a voice. He looked
around to see where it came from but it wasn’t from anyone near
him. The voice had been in his head.
And no, he wasn’t going mad after all. It was somebody
reaching out to him telepathically.
“Who are you?” he asked.
“My name is Sydney Sholl,” the voice answered.
“I’m in a cell near you, I think. You’re pretty loud
in my head. You must be a strong telepath. You’re not from Amato
VI, are you?”
“No,” The Doctor replied. “Are you?”
“Yes. Though I came to Earth twenty years ago. Do
you know Amato?”
“Place full of telepaths. Very noisy planet. You
LITERALLY can’t hear yourself think.”
“We enhanced ourselves genetically, and then found
we had no way to block each other’s thoughts. All day, every day,
all night, we could hear EVERYTHING. The only option was to leave the
planet, and find a place where telepathy is rare or non-existent.”
“So what are you doing here?” The Doctor asked.
“You’re a patient?”
“Guinea Pig, more like. Marsh has some way of recognising
alien DNA and he kidnaps people like us. Uses us for experiments. He makes
out that we’ve been sectioned for dangerously delusional behaviour.
It’s almost funny really. We’re all in here for believing
that we’re aliens!”
“All? How many…?”
“Alive, about eight. Sane… you and me. He
does things. When he’s probed as much as he can, got what he wants,
he lobotomises his guinea pigs and they end up in the general ward being
spoon fed mush by a nurse, their minds vegetating inside their bodies.
He’ll get to me, soon. He’s studied my telepathic ability
as far as he can. He can’t use it for the same reason I can’t
control it. So I’m for it.”
“I’m sorry,” The Doctor said. “I
can’t help you. Usually, it’s my job to help people. But I’m
helpless right now. I can’t even move.”
“Nobody can help us. We’re doomed.”
“Don’t give up,” The Doctor told him.
“I never do. There’s always a way. Somehow. But… What
is Marsh doing this for? WHY is he studying us?”
“He wants to become a superman,” Sydney answered
him. “He wants to use our abilities to become an enhanced being.
He especially wants telepathy and longevity. He wants to extend his life
beyond that of the ordinary Human lifespan. He found a couple of Kresslens
and tried to extract that part of their DNA that lets them live up to
500 years. It failed. And they died horribly. You don’t want to
know how. But I felt their screams from the basement.”
“Telepathy and longevity!” The Doctor groaned.
“I’ve got both. My people live thousands of years.”
“You won’t, if he starts on you.”
“I’ll lobotomise HIM, first,” The Doctor
vowed. Though it WAS an empty thread so long as he was trapped in a body
that couldn’t move.
And the thought really DID scare him. He felt bad enough
as he was, with his body paralysed by the inhibitor. But if they took
his mind away…
He wouldn’t know it, of course. He would have lost
everything he ever was. His memory, his experiences, his life. A man is
the sum of his memories, he once said. A time lord even more so. And he
would be less than a Time Lord, less than a man, if Marsh reduced him
to a lobotomised living vegetable sitting in the common room being fed
by a nurse whose face he would not even be able to focus on.
He thought he would rather die and be done with it than
live maybe a thousand or more years in that state.
He spent a long, cold night. He didn’t sleep. Nobody,
he supposed, expected him to sleep. He lay there, acutely aware of the
passage of time, aware that his captors would be coming for him, and that
they could do so at any moment.
The longer they stayed away, the worse it was. Not knowing
when it was going to happen.
He was scared. He admitted it to himself. He was lonely
and scared and he felt a long way from anyone he cared about or who cared
for him.
It was morning when they came. He knew, not because it
was darker or lighter, since there had been a light on all the time anyway
and there were no windows in the cell, but because he was a Time Lord
and always knew what time it was. He felt it in his bones. Time was a
part of him.
“Doctor Marsh wants to talk to you again,”
he was told as he was hauled up by the same pair of heavies thinly disguised
as nurses that had brought him to the cell the day before. He was still
quite weak but he thought enough of the neural inhibitor had worn off
him by now to make some kind of effort towards freeing himself. He twisted
in their grasp and got a punch in, flooring one of the heavies. But his
reflexes were far from what they should be. The other one was behind him
still when he felt the prick of a needle in his neck and the icy pain
of the neural inhibitor raced through his bloodstream. Despite himself
tears pricked his eyes and while he still had control of that much of
his body he blinked them back. He didn’t want Marsh to see that
he HAD hurt him, that he HAD made him feel utterly defeated. Even his
eyelids froze, though, as the second dose of the drug enveloped him. Only
his hearts and lungs and his brain remained active.
Just.
He was taken to a room with a reassuring sign saying ‘Therapy’
on it, but he knew that was almost certainly a euphemism for torture.
There were two beds inside, both with restraints for the patient and nothing
in the way of comfort. He was strapped to one of them, looking painfully
up into the overhead light. His brain had registered that the other bed
was already occupied but he couldn’t see who it was.
“It’s me,” the man in the other bed
told him telepathically. “Sydney.”
“Hi, Sydney,” The Doctor answered. “How
are you?”
“Performing my last useful service for Marsh,”
he replied. “He wants more questions answered by you. I am to speak
for you. If you don’t tell the truth, he’ll hurt me.”
“I’ll try to tell the truth then,” The
Doctor said. “I won’t let him hurt you on my behalf.”
“That’s all right,” Sydney answered.
“In a way, I will be glad to have it over. Dead or lobotomised,
at least it WILL be over.”
“Don’t say that,” The Doctor begged.
“I’ll TRY to help you, help us both.”
“You’re worse off than I am,” Sydney
told him. “But strangely, I do believe you’ll try. I’m
not sure it helps. I’ve been without hope for so long. Being offered
a glimmer of it just seems cruel.”
“Enough chat,” Marsh said. “Mr Sholl
has had enough time to explain the situation to you. Did he mention that
he is wired up to a polygraph machine and ECT. If you lie, he WILL suffer.”
“Yes, I understand,” The Doctor said mentally
and Sydney relayed the words.
“Good, then let us begin. Doctor, I want to ask
you first about your psychic abilities. How extensive are they? What about
other forms of paranormal behaviour? Can you predict the future? What
about telekinesis?”
“He says…” Sydney said after a minute
or two. “One thing at a time. You Humans and your multi-part questions.”
“Flippancy is also punishable,” Marsh replied.
“Be warned. Telekinesis. What about that?”
“No,” Sydney answered for The Doctor. “I’m
pants at telekinesis. Lucky for you because otherwise there are plenty
of blunt objects in the room that would connect with your cranium.”
“NO!” The Doctor screamed in his head. “Don’t
tell him THAT. He’ll hurt you.”
“It’s worth it,” Sydney answered. “That
was a bloody good reply. I wish I’d thought of it.”
Then he screamed, out loud and telepathically as the electrical
current coursed through his brain, causing painful convulsions. The Doctor
screamed in sympathy.
“It WAS worth it,” Sydney assured him. “By
the way, have you noticed he called you ‘Doctor’. He’s
dropped the whole pretence that you’re an ordinary man called Martin
Clay. He did that to make you admit to being who you are.”
“And I fell for it,” The Doctor groaned, cursing
his own stupidity. “I told him everything.”
“Even about aspirin killing you,” Sydney said.
“I’m sorry, but he was using me to monitor you long before
I had the chance to make contact. He made me tell him everything that
went through your head.”
“Not your fault.” The Doctor replied. “Besides,
I don’t think he’s going to kill me with anything as boring
as aspirin.”
“Let us begin again,” Marsh said. And he pressed
a series of questions about The Doctor’s abilities, his uniqueness
in the universe, and so on. Some of them touched on his TARDIS, and he
got the impression that was in the building somewhere. They had been trying
to get into it but, not surprisingly, without success. Even WITH a key
they still had to get past the TARDIS’s own defences, including
a bloody-mindedness of its own. It wouldn’t let anyone in who wasn’t
armed with a small thermonuclear device.
“I shall have the secret of that box sooner or later,”
Marsh said. “Don’t think you or it can hold out against me.
Even when I’m finished with Mr Sholl there are OTHERS here I can
torture and hurt until you give me the information I need. Now, let us
continue.”
They continued. For hours. The Doctor felt the time passing
as the questions came one after the other and Sydney told as much of the
truth as he dared without suffering for it. Sometimes he would be shocked
anyway just to remind them both who was in control. Then Marsh turned
to one particular detail of his physiology.
“Your two hearts? What advantage DO they give you?
Can you live with just one?”
The Doctor briefly thought of several lies, but he couldn’t
risk Sydney’s life on them.
“They give me increased stamina, speed, agility
over humans. I can endure physical hardship for longer. Yes, I can live
with only one.”
“Good,” Marsh answered. “Then I think
that concludes this session. Prepare him. Kill the other.”
“NO!” The Doctor managed to emit something
like a low growl of despair from his own frozen lips. He felt Sydney’s
body convulse one final time as the ECT was turned up to maximum and left
on until his brain could take no more.
The Doctor felt his death as the peace Sydney had begun
to long for and he mourned not that he was dead, because it WAS a relief
in that sense, but the fact that he had given him that glimmer of hope
and had not been able to make good on it.
He was still helpless as one of the heavies administered
a dose of sodium thiopental, an anaesthetic that he would normally be
able to expel from his body easily. The neural inhibitor inhibited that
ability and he felt himself losing consciousness quickly. He came as close
as he ever did to a prayer, for himself, to still BE himself when the
anaesthetic wore off.
The anaesthetic wore off, and he knew instantly that it
was something like twenty hours later. His Time Lord body clock told him
that. The rest of his body told him that the neural inhibitor had worn
off as well, but he was restrained again in the room with a spy hole to
keep an eye on him.
There was something wrong with his body, even so. He took
a deep breath and his chest felt strange. His hands were restrained so
he couldn’t physically check himself, but he reached mentally into
his body and searched for the problem.
He found it.
“You %#£$@#£!” he cried out, knowing
that somebody would be listening. “You took my right heart away.”
He felt again. “And a LUNG. What the hell are you trying to do?”
There was no wound. His body would have repaired quickly
while he was unconscious. There was no pain, as such. Though when he concentrated
he could remember the agony of the operation sharply and keenly.
“They grow back, you know,” he said. “It
feels horrible. And it takes AGES. But they grow back. If you really want
to have fun you could cut off different bits of me. Hands, feet, an eye,
ear. Then watch them grow back.”
He hoped they didn’t take him up on the offer. But
he just wanted them to know that they couldn’t defeat him that way.
He may have only one heart, no TARDIS, no sonic screwdriver. He may be
a prisoner in this place. But he was STILL a Time Lord.
They couldn’t take THAT away from him.
He closed his eyes. Being able to do that voluntarily,
felt good. The tear ducts washing the eyeball that had been dry and exposed
to the light for so long was comforting. He kept his eyes closed, just
because t hat
was one action that he was still able to do without restraint. His one
freedom.
The door opened. A trolley was wheeled in. His hearts
– heart – sank as he expected more torture. Then a female
voice spoke softly.
“Hello,” she said. “Are you awake? Would
you like some tea?”
He opened his eyes and looked at `a pair of gentle hazel
eyes that was the only part of her face not covered by a surgical mask.
She reached and lifted his head slightly and put a plastic cup to his
lips. It WAS tea. It wasn’t very hot, and there were too many sugars
in it, at least four, he thought, but that was all the better. The warm
liquid soothed his throat and the sugar did what it did for most humanoid
bodies, it gave it an energy burst that it needed. He couldn’t remember
when he last ate or drank anything. Certainly not while he had been in
this place.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“What have they done to you?” she asked. “It
can’t be right. That’s for sure. Look, I’m not really
a nurse. I’m a spy. I work for U.N.I.T. and I have a friend there.
He’s called The Doctor. And he can help you. He will. I promise
you.”
The Doctor looked again at those eyes and he wondered
how he hadn’t known them before, to say nothing of the chattering
voice of the kindest hearted, worst spy British Intelligence ever trained.
“They’re watching,” he said, his eyes
flickering momentarily towards the spy hole. “Get out of here. Get
back to U.N.I.T right now.”
“I will,” she told him, and she leaned over
and kissed him gently on the cheek before she turned away. She gave a
yelp of shock as she found the door barred by one of the heavies.
“What are you doing in here?” he demanded.
“Tea trolley,” she replied, jiggling it as
if in proof. “Bringing tea to the patients.”
“This patient is isolated. He doesn’t GET
tea. And the door should have been locked.”
“Well, it’s not MY fault if it WASN’T.
Do you want me to report it? Whoever didn’t lock it might get into
trouble. Was it your job to lock it?”
“Get back to your work,” the heavy responded
and added a swear word that even The Doctor found withering. He wondered
how that sweet, innocent soul managed not to wilt before it, but she pushed
her trolley out of the room with her head held high and a cheery ‘bye
for now’ addressed not to the heavy, but to him. Those cheerful
words did what all the torture and punishment couldn’t do. They
made the tears overflow that he had kept back until now. He felt even
more lonely than before.
The heavy sneered as he saw his tears and turned away.
The Doctor heard the lock turn and he was alone except for his observers
behind the spy hole.
But he had a reason to hope now. She had given him it.
He wondered why he hadn’t thought of it before, in fact. They must
have confused his brain somehow.
It was 1971. He wasn’t alone and friendless. In
1971, his third incarnation was exiled on Earth. He was working for U.N.I.T.
in return for the means to try to repair the TARDIS and defeat the Time
Lords plan to keep him confined on this one planet. He could picture it
so well, that laboratory with the wooden door with one glass panel that
looked so much like a school classroom. The TARDIS parked in one corner
and a huge worksurface covered with half complete pieces of the console.
He could actually see himself working there, humming tunelessly, pretending
to be happy when his hearts were yearning to be free of his earthly prison.
Any moment now, the Brigadier would burst through the door with something
urgent to report. The only person who wouldn’t be there was Jo,
because she was, at least he hoped she was, getting herself out of Brockley
Hall before somebody realised she WASN’T the tea lady.
It was an effort, but having imagined that room, his telepathic
mind could reach out to it. He reached to the one mind he knew could receive
him.
His own.
He saw through his own younger eyes that familiar room.
And right on cue the Brigadier burst in.
“I wish you would knock,” The Doctor complained.
“I WAS in the middle of something important.”
“I thought you ought to know, there’s been
a development. Sunley Park experimental nuclear power plant. They had
a break in four nights ago. A man was arrested. Our operative there said
that he claimed aliens were in charge of the plant and using the nuclear
core to power their space ships.”
“And…”
“And we raided the plant, and it turns out the aliens
WERE in charge. But the funny thing is, the chap who was arrested was
taken to Brockley Hall. There seems to be some kind of loose connection.”
“That WAS me!” The Doctor cried out in his
head. “I DID go there. I was in the vortex, on my way to Wyn’s,
and I noticed the anomaly, and being the nosy parker that I am, I took
a detour, knowing I could still get to Wyn in Llanfairfach in 2032 on
time and neither she nor Jasmin would know any better. I was almost there
when they caught me.”
“Doctor?” The Brigadier looked at him curiously.
“Are you listening to me?”
“No,” The Doctor answered, raising a hand
to shush him. “I’m listening to somebody else. No, actually,
I tell a lie. I’m listening to myself. Yes, I hear you. Yes. I’ll
tell them. Look, you conserve your strength. You don’t sound too
good and communicating like this is exhausting.”
“Brockley Hall,” The Doctor said to the Brigadier.
“We have to get there RIGHT NOW. Afterwards you can blame it on
crossed communications, say that you thought the authorisation was through,
whatever. But we have to get there right NOW. MY life depends on it.”
The Brigadier started to protest, but there was a look
in The Doctor’s eyes that brooked no refusal. He sighed and reached
for the telephone.
The Doctor sighed wearily. His other self was right. It
HAD taken it out of him. Days of his body and mind being generally messed
up weakened him. That last telepathic communication finished him off.
He had to rest, even if he DID wake up lobotomised. He closed his eyes
again and let sleep overcome him.
Jo Grant reached the front gate of Brockley Hall. She began
to feel she was going to get away safely. There had been one scare. As
she stepped out of the front door somebody called her back. She was sure
she was caught. But it was just the receptionist telling her to sign off
duty. She signed and then RAN. All thought of walking casually, nonchalantly,
as if she wasn’t running for her life dissipated and she RAN.
As she stepped out of the gate, an army land rover stopped.
Behind it was a Bedford Four Tonner from which men were pouring out. She
saw The Brigadier get out of the passenger side of the Land Rover and
the sight of him gladdened her heart. But the man she ran to with tears
of joy was the one who drove up last, in a bright yellow open topped vintage
car affectionately known as Bessie.
“Doctor!” she cried and flung her arms around
him. “Oh, Doctor, I’m so glad you’re here. I was scared.
They’re doing experiments on people in there. Weird experiments.”
“Yes, we know,” he said in a calm, gentle
voice. “I’m sorry you had to see such things. Will you come
back in with me now, and show me where the man is that you gave the cup
of tea to. The one who told you to get away.”
“How did you know about him?” she asked but
he didn’t explain. The Doctor and Jo and the Brigadier waited until
the two unit platoons had stormed the building and begun to secure it
before following. Jo showed them the way. Sergeant Benton and another
soldier stepped in line behind him. When they reached the door The Brigadier
nodded to them and they took out their service revolvers and busted the
lock. The Doctor was first inside, followed closely by Jo.
“Who IS he?” she asked as The Doctor began
to examine the patient. “Why is he important?”
“He’s me,” The Doctor answered. “A
later version of me. Brigadier, I was right. There IS a TARDIS here somewhere.
HIS TARDIS. Be a good chap and have it brought to HQ.”
“Good as done,” the Brigadier said. “But
what about him? Is he...”
“They’ve messed him up good and proper,”
The Doctor said as he examined his much later incarnation with the medical
analysis mode of his sonic screwdriver. “Not badly enough to trigger
regeneration, but enough to make him VERY ill.”
“We’ll get him to the U.N.I.T. medical centre,”
the Brigadier said. “Our new Lieutenant Surgeon, Harry Sullivan,
can look after him. He’s a good man.”
“No need,” The Doctor said. “I have
what he needs in my TARDIS. A few hours in a zero room will revive him.
It won’t replace the missing heart and lung. That’ll take
a few months. But he’ll be fit enough to cope with that.”
“Missing…” the Brigadier began, but
Sergeant Benton stepped up to him with a message relayed from one of the
other men and he was distracted from the question. The Doctor, with Jo’s
help got ready to take his other self to safety.
The Doctor woke feeling as if he had a hangover. He groaned.
Not again, he thought. Will I never wake from this nightmare?
He flexed his hand, expecting to feel the restraints pulling
against his wrist. To his surprise he lifted his arm freely. And he realised
he wasn’t lying on a bed.
In fact, he wasn’t lying on anything. He was levitating.
Something he hadn’t done for some time, but it was a sensation he
would never forget. And as his mind cleared he became aware of a rather
pleasant scent of rose petals, like walking in a rose garden just after
a summer rain when the smell seemed to be hanging in the moist air. Only
the air here wasn’t moist.
He opened his eyes and looked up at a ceiling that was
a gentle pinkish-grey colour and his eyes filled with nostalgic tears
as he recognised his surroundings. He had lost the original zero room
from his TARDIS five whole regenerations ago. The replacement was smaller,
darker, like a walk in cupboard, and didn’t have the rose petal
smell.
He pushed his weight forward so that he stood upright,
then let his feet touch the ground. Bare feet, touching a pleasantly cool
floor. He was, he realised, naked. He looked around and saw a plain cotton
robe folded up by the door. He put it on before he stepped out of the
zero room. He walked through a TARDIS that was completely familiar to
him even though he knew it wasn’t HIS TARDIS any more. He almost
choked with emotion as he came to the console room. He hadn’t seen
it like this, all white and clean looking with the basin sized roundels
on the walls, for a long time.
As he stepped through the door into his old U.N.I.T. laboratory
he decided he wasn’t even going to TRY remembering how long ago
it was that he had that white hair and the penchant for frilled shirts
and opera cloaks. But looking at his earlier incarnation he felt like
he was seeing an old friend.
“Feeling better?” his other self asked.
“Much better,” he answered. “Thanks.
Could you tell me… what the heck was that all about?”
“The usual thing,” his other self said. “Mad
scientist looking for the secret of immortality. He found out about me
from some stolen U.N.I.T. files. You accidentally landed in this era and
he got hold of you and your TARDIS instead of me and mine. Luckily for
you, the Brigadier and his chaps already had an idea something funny was
going on in that place. They’d had it under observation for a while.
We’d have got to you sooner but the Minster for Defence went to
the same public school as Marsh and wouldn’t sanction the raid until
we had absolute proof he was up to no good.”
“Is Marsh under arrest?” The Doctor asked.
“Marsh is dead,” The Doctor replied. “He
had your organs transplanted into himself. He wanted to be a Time Lord.
But his body rejected them. Not sure why, because our DNA ought to have
just overridden his own and he’d be all right. I think he might
have already had genes from some other alien species grafted onto his
and his body decided enough was enough.”
“Can’t say I’m sorry. But….”
He turned and smiled as he saw two things that warmed his spirits. First,
his own TARDIS standing next to the other one, and beside them both…
“Jo, my sweet nurse. I almost thought I was dreaming.
Of all the faces I could dream about.”
“That is the nicest thing anyone ever said about
me,” she said as he hugged her tightly. “I didn’t even
know it was you. I just thought you were so sad and you needed a cup of
tea”
“I WAS,” he told her. “Terribly sad.
But I’m not now. Oh, Jo, I wish I could tell you what I know of
your future, how happy you’re going to be. But YOUR Doctor would
deal me one of his Venusian Aikido chops to the neck and I’ve had
enough pain for a lifetime lately. Just let me hold you for a while, and
look at that sweet face.”
And he did so. After all the confusion of the past days,
for all the good the Zero room had been in mending him physically and
mentally, the final thing he needed to revive his soul was to hold onto
her until his earlier incarnation cleared his throat meaningfully and
demanded his assistant back now.
“You might find those useful, by the way,”
The Doctor said, pointing to a cardboard box on the workbench. They were
in Marsh’s laboratory with the TARDIS.”
The Doctor picked up the box and smiled joyfully. He saw
his suit and shirt and tie folded neatly and all of the possessions he
had on him when he was captured; his sonic screwdriver, TARDIS key, his
wedding ring. He picked that up and slipped it on his hand. Jo and his
other incarnation both noticed him do that and they both looked as if
they wanted to ask him when he acquired a wedding ring, but both wisely
decided not to ask the question. He held his hand out in front of him
and studied the ring for a long time, and he felt the empty place where
his missing heart should be. And he knew that he could STILL visit Wyn
an hour after he left Jasmin, but first there was one place in the universe
better than a zero room where he could stay until his heart was mended,
literally and figuratively.