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This story, originally posted online
on September 11th, 2005, is dedicated to the victims of 9/11.
They stayed at Susan's for several days. The traumatic
events had thrown up several reasons why they should. Susan needed to
spend time with her grandfather. They needed to talk between themselves
about the reasons why he hadn't come back to see her for so long. He spent
a lot of time in talk with David, too. There had been issues between them
ever since The Doctor began training the boys in the Time Lord traditions.
David had felt increasingly that his own sons didn't belong to him any
more but to The Doctor. After missing the first eight years of their lives
he now just came along and turned their heads with promises that they
could do magic tricks. It was a grievance that might have festered for
a long time if they didn't have a chance to clear the air. Of course,
the fact that David now had partial Time Lord DNA was a very good basis
for reconciliation.
Jackie found those days useful, too. When Susan wasn't
with The Doctor she spent a lot of time with Jackie. They were the most
unlikely soul-mates, perhaps. Motherhood and shopping, with The Doctor's
blessing and one of his credit cards, were the only things they had in
common. But it was enough. For whole hours at a time Jackie forgot that
Susan was an alien with two hearts, born on a planet that was light years
from Earth and thought of her as a friend. She still harboured suspicions
about The Doctor, but they were increasingly marginalised ones. Mostly,
as she watched him teaching the boys, or more often than not, playing
with them and making the most of every moment of their company in a very
HUMAN way, she had to concede the universe contained much that was worse
than him.
Rose found herself a spectator in these bonding sessions
between both 'sides' of her family. She spent the time thinking, not unhappily,
about the life she had chosen, and the man she had chosen to share that
life with. When he was with Susan and the children the huge age gap, the
huge gap in their experiences, seemed like a yawning gulf with him on
one side and she on the other. She wondered how it was possible that they
could be 'an item' as everyone, even the DALEK, had recognised them to
be. But then he would glance her way and his eyes would seem to soften
and his smile would be a special, different smile he only had for her,
and she knew there was no gulf, never had been. Whatever he had been in
his past, now he was HER Doctor, her…. well, she still wasn't sure.
They weren't lovers, because although they did love each other they didn't
make love. He wasn't her boyfriend in any sense she had ever defined the
word. Well, he was certainly not a BOY for one thing. She ought to feel
frustrated at the inability to define their relationship in concrete terms.
But strangely she didn't. Because she knew that above all he was HERS.
When he was finished taking care of the immediate needs of his blood family,
when he had dropped her mum back at the flat, she would be with him in
the TARDIS. He wouldn't even need to ask if she wanted to be there. He
knew she did. If Mickey had taken her for granted in such a way she would
have given him hell for it. But The Doctor taking her for granted was
the greatest compliment she could wish for.
At last, they knew they would have to leave. It was an
emotional parting on so many levels. Susan and Jackie were easiest to
sever. The Doctor worked his 'jiggerypokery' on their two mobile phones
so that they would be able to talk to each other over the 200 years and
a few miles of London that separated them. David laughed and asked The
Doctor if he knew what he was doing giving two women unlimited gossip
time. The boys were sorry to see him go, but they knew they could talk
to him any time even WITHOUT a supercharged mobile phone. David shook
hands with him man to man, with a better understanding between them than
there used to be. And then there was no excuse not to go.
"Ok," The Doctor said as he put the TARDIS into
temporal orbit. "Next stop, Jackie's kitchen." She gave him
a 'don't you dare' look but even she knew he was kidding and cracked a
smile afterwards. Rose wondered for a moment what it would be like if
her mum stayed with them. But no - too much of Jackie in a confined space
like the TARDIS and murder would be done. It was a nice change having
her with them, but not as a permanent fixture.
But the next stop was NOT Jackie's kitchen. The Doctor looked puzzled
as he looked at the viewscreen. If it was, Rose thought momentarily, then
Jackie must have forgotten to switch off the oven before they left. But
the fires raging in the darkness outside were not a London Council Estate.
The dark silhouettes of buildings not yet ablaze were, Rose thought, oriental.
"Kyoto
burning - sometime in the 14th century," The Doctor said in answer
to the questions that were on the lips of both his companions. "Hard
to say exactly when. This happened a lot. I remember being here once…."
"Yes," Jackie said. "Very interesting. But maybe we ought
to think about NOT being here now."
"Good point." He hit the dematerialisation switch. Moments later
they were in the time vortex again and he punched in the co-ordinates
for London, 2008 again.
"That isn't right either," Jackie said as they materialised
in the middle of a corridor of what looked like a spaceship to anyone
who watched enough science fiction television to recognise the general
lines of space craft design. The Doctor, though, was looking, not puzzled
or worried this time, but rather excited.
"Well, I wondered when we'd land here." As they watched the
screen, a young man, aged maybe nineteen, ran down the corridor and stopped,
puzzled, when he saw the TARDIS. The Doctor laughed and punched several
buttons on the console. Rose and Jackie watched in astonishment as a slightly
see through holographic representation of The Doctor himself appeared
in front of the youngster.
"Nice looking boy," Jackie said out of the blue.
And Rose had to admit she was right. He was tall, at least six foot, with
jet black hair and expressive brown eyes in a rather pale but good looking
face. He was dressed all in black with black denim jeans and an open-necked
cotton shirt and a calf-length leather jacket like the Doctor's, but much
newer and shinier. He looked puzzled but not frightened by the appearance
of the hologram. And when The Doctor spoke, Rose understood why. For one
thing, he began by addressing him by his name - Chrístõ.
Rose looked closely at the "nice looking boy" and then at The
Doctor as he explained, through his hologram, what the boy had to do to
defeat the space vampyres that stalked the ship they were on!
"Vampyres?" Rose questioned, but The Doctor
just raised a hand as if to indicate he was not able to talk to her while
he was controlling the hologram. They couldn't hear the boy's side of
the conversation, but Rose was sure he had just asked The Doctor "Who
are you?" He laughed as if he was enjoying this strange reunion -
because it WAS a reunion, Rose realised.
"You know who I am," the Doctor said through the hologram. "You
worked it out five seconds ago…. That's why I can't come out, and
why I can't help you. The paradox would be cataclysmic. We're breaking
enough rules just by having this conversation. But the way I see it, you
landed here by accident, so did I. We neither of us planned this meeting.
So let the rules go to hell for once. But enough chin-wagging. If you've
got your breath back, now, you'd best be getting on with the job….
Good luck, Chrístõ de Lœngbærrow. Though I think you
know by now luck isn't really a factor. Have a good life. But I know you
will." And he flicked off the hologram and hit the dematerialisation
button again. He put the TARDIS into temporal orbit to give himself a
little thinking time.
"What was that all about?" Jackie asked.
"That was you, wasn't it?" Rose said. "Younger than you
are now."
"Yes." The Doctor smiled enigmatically. "Me as an innocent
190 year old teenager exploring the universe on my first unsupervised
field trip."
"And you ran into vampyres… the sort we met up with in Ireland?"
Rose asked. She ignored her mother's exclamation about vampyres.
"Yep. That's how I knew what we were dealing with there. And how
to kill them."
"THAT was you?" Jackie gasped, a little behind the conversation.
"You did say "nice looking boy" didn't you, Jackie?"
The Doctor said. "You can't go back on it."
"I wasn't. I was just thinking it would have been less confusing
if Rose had met you THEN and not now."
"Wouldn't have worked out. I only had eyes for my Julia back then."
He smiled again. "That WAS strange. But I was expecting it sooner
or later. I remember that conversation the first time around. I thought
my older self had good taste in clothes although I was a bit snotty about
the state of my jacket. And I remember thinking that the older me had
my mother's eyes." Rose looked at the soft slate-grey eyes that she
loved so much and thought his mother must have been beautiful. "Funny,
he never realised it's the SAME jacket." She tuned her attention
to his battered leather jacket, frayed at the cuffs, scuffed at the shoulders
and elbows, one button hanging by a single thread, and mentally compared
it with the neat, shiny, new one the younger version of himself had worn.
"I don't know," he said before she asked the next question.
"I'd forgotten myself until I saw it just now. When I regenerated,
I was not exactly firing on all thrusters. I put the clothes on that I
found. The TARDIS is a sentimental old girl. She looks after me in ways
even I don't realise sometimes."
Rose considered the logic of that remark. She knew he had been a bit of
a basket case when he regenerated. He had never told her much about it,
but she had pieced it together from unguarded remarks when he was emotionally
charged and knew that it was the TARDIS that had pulled him together again
and let him see that he had to go on because SOMEBODY had to be the last
Time Lord and remember that Gallifrey once WAS a real place. And somehow
this curiously alive ship had left for him one relic of his past that
he could relate to.
"Anyway, you're a fibber." Rose said after a while. "You
told me you were a gormless teenager. You didn't mention you were drop
dead gorgeous."
The Doctor smiled grimly. "I thought you loved me for my brains not
my looks." He reached and touched her on the cheek gently. She smiled
and put her hand over his, holding it there. "I wonder if 'Drop Dead
Gorgeous' would have believed me if I told him that at 950 he'd still
be able to turn a girl's head." Then he shook his head and sighed.
"That was not my favourite day of my life. Nine vampyres and two
of them had a piece of me before they were done."
"Can't you help him?" Jackie asked, her mother instinct feeling
for the boy, even if he WAS the Doctor in a younger life. The idea of
vampyres having 'a piece of him' did not sound good to her.
"I told him as much as I dare," he said. "The fact that
we had the conversation at all tells him that he has to succeed. That
gives him the courage to do the job. It's as much as I could do. If I
had stepped out of the protection of the TARDIS the two of us together
would have been a VERY dangerous paradox. Anyway, let's try AGAIN. Third
time lucky maybe."
"IS something wrong with the TARDIS?" Rose asked. "Kyoto
in the 14th century - somewhere in space - that's nowhere near home."
"I don't know," he said, and he did, in fact,
look a little worried. He looked at the console closely and frowned. "The
temporal circuit seems to be playing up."
"Are you saying you can't get us home?" Jackie asked and she
REALLY looked worried.
"No, I'm not saying that," he said. "I'm saying we have
a small temporary problem which will be fixed as soon as I work out what's
causing it. But sods law dictates that it WOULD happen the first time
you come on board and I REALLY need things to go right and for you to
be confident in my ability to fly this old heap of junk." The TARDIS
seemed to react to that remark with a slight change of tone. "Sorry,
old girl," he said, patting the console like a dog. "You know
I don't mean it."
Jackie still looked worried, and Rose recognised the early signs of her
mother about to get ANGRY. The last thing she wanted on board the TARDIS.
The Doctor had always refused to have Jackie around for that precise reason
- her habit of bringing too much of the wrong sort of domesticity into
his life.
On the other hand, it must have been sods law. Nine times out of ten the
TARDIS could target a postage stamp in space and materialise on it. But
it had to go wrong when Jackie was on board to criticise and accuse The
Doctor of not being able to guarantee their safety.
They were saved from a row by the next apparently random destination the
TARDIS landed them in. When The Doctor turned on the viewscreen they all
recognised the scene.
"New York," Jackie exclaimed excitedly. "Well, its not
home, but it'll do for a while. I always wanted to see New York. Do you
think there's still enough credit on those cards of yours for some shopping,
Doctor?"
"Oh, that's typical of you," Rose said. "You're nice to
him when you want to go shopping."
"Those credit cards are paid off via a very complicated banking system
originating in the Minos Galaxy and routed through the Isle of Man,"
the Doctor said. "They've always got credit on them." And he
smiled indulgently. "If you two want to go spend some money, that's
ok with me. Have fun. I'll try and find out what's wrong with the TARDIS."
He stood at the door and waved to them with a smile as mother and daughter
set off into a cool Manhattan morning, walking down Broadway.
They
were about 100 yards away when he saw them stop and look up into the sky.
The Doctor, watching them, instinctively looked up as well. The sky was
a pale blue of an early autumn morning and all seemed well. But a sudden
foreboding came over him as it must have come over them. As he ran towards
them they had already turned back towards him.
"Doctor…" Jackie yelled at him when he reached them. "You
have to DO something."
"Please…" Rose said, her face pale and drawn.
"The only thing I can do is get you two out of here, now. Come on."
"But we know… you COULD…."
"No, Jackie, I can't," The Doctor insisted. "Apart from
anything else, it's already too late. The planes are in the sky. Please…
come back to the TARDIS now." The Doctor looked about him. For the
moment, at least, normal life was going on in New York. And his struggle
with two nearly hysterical women was the most interesting thing to the
morning commuters and shoppers. And for that reason among others he REALLY
wanted to get them back safely behind the safe closed doors of the TARDIS.
"Sir… is there a problem here?" To his dismay, an NYPD
car drew up beside them and a police officer addressed them.
"Its ok," he said. "Just a domestic." The officer
did not look convinced. The Doctor turned his usual forceful look on the
officer for a moment before something seemed to touch his soul. He reached
out and touched the officer's hand and sudden and imminent death looked
him in his mind's eye. "I'm sorry," he said quietly to the officer.
"I really wish I COULD do something." Then he looked at him
again, with a rather less hard stare but no less hypnotic. The officer
nodded and told him to "have a nice day" and drove away. He
turned to the women and quietly told them to come with him. His gentle
calm seemed to work on them and without another word they came. Only when
they were back on board the TARDIS did they let loose on him again, screaming
at him to DO SOMETHING.
"I'm telling you," he said. "I can't. Believe me, on my
list of 100 things in your world's history I wish I COULD change, this
is in the top 10 with a bullet. But I can't. And the main reason I know
is because I HAVE tried." He put the TARDIS into orbit again and
turned to Jackie and Rose. "Drop Dead Gorgeous broke the rules big
time and spent the day before it happened at FBI Headquarters telling
them everything - dates, times, names. And the idiots ignored him. I suppose
they put him down as a crackpot. They were nice and polite and everything.
Thank you for your patriotism in coming forward with your information,
sir… I think I still have the souvenir pen they give to visitors
somewhere. The next day…" He held his hands in front of him,
palms up and Rose was startled to see that they trembled. "I went
there… with so many other people who tried their best… My
hands bled with the effort… we found some alive… at first.
Later we just found the dead. But I tried. I tried, Jackie, Rose…
for the sake of humanity I tried…" He was crying - a sight
so rare that it startled them both. It was actually Jackie who reached
him first and took one of his hands in hers - the hands that had bled
for humanity's sake. Rose took the other and she held him in a close embrace
for a long time. He felt grateful to them both for understanding just
one of the burdens of his long life.
"God," Jackie said after a while, quite out
of the blue. "That means the authorities DID know in advance and
they COULD have…"
"No," The Doctor said. "One stupid junior FBI man who didn't
follow the chain of command knew. And… anyway, truth be told, if
it had worked it would have been reaper time. You know what I mean, Rose."
Rose nodded. "But I was young and stupid then and thought I COULD
make a difference."
"Hang on…." Rose suddenly had a thought. "Doctor….
The last places we've landed - New York, the spaceship, Kyoto….
You've been to all of them in the past - when you were younger - when
you were…. You know.. HIM."
"Yes," he said, not sure what she was getting at.
"Well, isn't that a bit of a coincidence. I mean, we've been all
sorts of places and never got mixed up with younger versions of you before."
"Come to think of it, YES." He slapped the console in the excitement
of sudden realisation. "The time vortex must have versions of me
all over the place in the TARDIS, to say nothing of all the other Time
Lords who used it. And we've never clashed before. But that's not to say
we couldn't. In certain freak circumstances. Like me needing to impress
my sweetheart's mother that I can control my TARDIS! Oh, that was asking
for trouble. That was giving fate a good excuse to mess me about."
"Doctor, you're not making any sense," Jackie said.
"I know I'm not. But neither is the TARDIS. This sort of thing shouldn't
happen. Look…" He turned to Jackie. "I know you think
the TARDIS is unreliable and I'm completely reckless and I'm going to
get you and Rose killed."
"Well you could," she said.
"Yes, and I could leave you home and you could both be killed by
a number 59 bus. You're in no more danger with me than at home. And I
WILL get you home. I promise. And Rose knows I never go back on my promises."
"You've never let me down."
"I'll go make some coffee," Jackie said. "Maybe it'll help
you think."
"The way you make coffee, Jackie," The Doctor said with a smile.
"You can count on it." Jackie had no way to be sure if that
was an insult or a compliment. She wisely said nothing. Rose went with
her to the kitchen leaving The Doctor to his own devices.
When they returned he was knee deep in wiring from a panel under the console.
Even Rose looked at the viewscreen showing them moving through the time
vortex with alarm. What if he killed the TARDIS stone dead with his tinkering?
"Ah…" he said at last emerging from the panel. "I
know what the problem is." He brought out a small component, so small
it fitted easily into his palm. "The logic circuit is damaged. The
TARDIS has taken a few bumps lately. And something had to give. Somehow
the old girl has fastened on the most likely way of replacing it. The
OTHER TARDIS out there, the one that is still brand new, could help us."
"HIS TARDIS…. Is the same TARDIS?" Rose asked. "THIS
TARDIS?"
"Yes. I was given it to use for field research when I was a student,
and I kept it. I could have upgraded. There are flashier models, with
better upholstery on the furniture and all the latest gismos, but I got
to know this TARDIS and it got to know me. We understand each other. But
all these years have taken the toll. There used to be TWO console rooms.
But I've gradually gutted the backup room for parts to keep this one going.
Chrístõ still has the back up. And he could let us have
this part. He can get the spare replaced when he goes back home to Gallifrey."
"Okay… so… we just materialise again and go find him
and tell him," Jackie said.
"Essentially,
yes." The Doctor set the co-ordinate for Jackie's flat, 2008, once
again in the vain hope it might work this time. It didn't. They materialised
in Trevi Square, Rome, next to the famous fountain. The date on the console
said June 18th, 1990. "Ah!" The Doctor smiled. "Yes, I
came here for the World Cup!" He watched the viewscreen for a while.
"Now, there's something about this…. I remember the conversation
I had with myself on the spaceship. But I don't remember anything strange
happening here. So that means we're actually going to alter my personal
history just a little bit. Not enough to cause problems. But I CAN'T have
any part in it. Rose, neither can you. And I'm not just saying that because
you think my younger self is Drop Dead Gorgeous." He winked at her
and smiled. "ANYONE who has travelled in a TARDIS becomes a part
of it in a small way, and it becomes part of them. That's why psychic
paper doesn't work on them. Rose, you've been with me nearly two years
now, give or take. You're a part of the matrix. You going near him or
the other TARDIS could be dangerous. So, Jackie, I need YOU to do this.
You've spent the least time in the TARDIS. You're the least paradoxical
of us all."
"I'll try," Jackie said. "What do I have to do?" He
told her. She nodded. It didn't seem too hard. Walk across the Trevi Plaza
to a pub where his younger self was sitting talking about football with
a bunch of England fans. "Oh, but it ought to be Rose who does this."
Her courage failed her momentarily as she stood at the door ready to go.
"What's he going to think if I walk up to him… a middle aged,
saggy bint old enough to be his mum."
"Jackie," The Doctor said kindly to her. "That's ME out
there. And I have NEVER cared about what people look like. It's what's
inside that counts. And inside, you've always been 19." And to her
surprise, and a little of his, he kissed her on the cheek. She blushed
and smiled at him. A miracle in itself. And she stepped outside.
It was not a particularly big plaza, but Jackie thought
her legs would never carry her across it. Several times she looked back
at the incongruous blue box that stuck out like a sore thumb next to the
antique fountain. She looked ahead to the pub with tables outside at which
a group of football fans were lounging, drinking, talking. It was not
the sort of social group Jackie would have chosen to walk among. The next
one to call her Sen-whorea was going to get the back of her hand. And
if HE was one of them he definitely would, no matter what The Doctor said.
It wouldn't be the first time she'd slapped him, come to think of it.
He was easy to spot, actually. Although he had an England scarf around
his neck, it looked as totally out of place as he did among this crowd
of beer swillers. He was drinking a glass of wine, leisurely sprawled
in the seat, his long legs stretched out in front of him. He looked up
at Jackie as she stood in front of him.
"I have a message for Theta Sigma," she said as The Doctor had
coached her. He at once sat up and listened, putting his drink down. "We
need a…. um…" Her words failed her. "Um… one
of these…" She handed him the broken TARDIS component. "Apparently
you have two."
"Well… yes… I do… But…" He stood up
and looked at her. He reached and touched her hand and looked puzzled.
"You've time travelled," he said. "I can't read your timeline.
That only happens when somebody has travelled in the vortex. It scrambles
the line, makes it uncertain."
"Yes. I've travelled by TARDIS, though not very much. I'm new to
all this. Mostly I'd like to go home. And I can't do that without this
thing. Because if I get off here… I should be 18 years younger and
my teenage daughter should only be 4. And I'm in Rome and I don't have
a passport…" There was panic in her voice as the enormity of
her situation hit her.
"Ok. No problem. Come on." He stood up and took
her by the hand. He led her to a side alley by the pub. For a moment she
felt a little worried about going down an alleyway with a strange man.
Then she thought, this ISN'T a strange man, it is The Doctor. And though
he WAS strange, she thought next, his strangeness wasn't the sort she
needed to be afraid of in that way. Chrístõ, as she tried
to think of him, to differentiate from the OTHER Doctor, stopped by a
rusty looking door that looked like it led to a boiler room. He took a
key from his pocket and put it into a keyhole with a symbol on it - .
If Jackie had known anything about Greek symbols she would have recognised
it as Theta Sigma. She didn't. But when she stepped inside the door she
recognised it as a TARDIS. It looked a lot different to the one she knew.
It looked NEW. It looked clean. It looked like the cutting edge of technology.
Everything the one she was used to wasn't. She remembered this WAS, in
fact, the same TARDIS and wondered how it had changed so much.
Chrístõ quickly worked, opening up a panel in the side of
the TARDIS console to find the component. He stood up and gave it to her.
It was so simple. He walked with her to the plaza again. He looked at
the OTHER TARDIS by the fountain.
"I've seen that before," he said.
"Yes," Jackie replied. "On the spaceship with the vampyres.
We saw you. I don't think you're supposed to go near it. Something to
do with paradoxes…"
"Yes," Chrístõ said. "It would be."
She thanked him and walked away from him. Again, it seemed a long way
across the plaza. And when she was only part way there she really did
not need the drunken idiot who suddenly appeared in front of her and tried
to grab her handbag. She screamed and held onto it. The 'component' was
in there and she wasn't going to lose that for anything. The next moment,
though, she didn't have to. She felt a movement beside her, and the would-be
mugger was on the floor and Chrístõ was straightening his
leather jacket nonchalantly.
"Are you all right?" he asked her.
"Yes," she said. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you. Thank you VERY
much."
He looked around. The Doctor was only a few feet away. He, too, had folded
time to reach her, but Chrístõ had got there a fraction
before him.
"She'll be fine," The Doctor said reaching out his hand to her.
He grinned. "The jacket DID look better when it was new. But I guess
old and battered suits me somehow." Chrístõ looked
at him and grinned. Jackie had a feeling that they BOTH wanted to hug
each other. But to do so would have been the paradox they both talked
about. "Anyway, you'd best go now. This is more dangerous by the
moment. Thank you, Chrístõ de Lœngbærrow, for everything."
"Thank YOU," he answered. "I owed you one, anyway."
Then he turned around and hurried away. Jackie took The Doctor's hand
when he offered it to her and walked back to THEIR TARDIS safely. She
had some food for thought there. BOTH the younger and older man had risked
the 'paradox', whatever that was, to come to her rescue. Neither had hesitated.
Whatever else he was, he was no coward. And never had been.
The Doctor made Jackie lie down when she got back into the TARDIS. She'd
had an ordinary human shock of being nearly mugged on top of the space-time
traumas of the past few hours. She didn't deserve either. She was asleep
when he got the TARDIS ready to move again with the new component safely
installed. Rose, too, was sleeping, beside her mum on the pull out bed.
He put in the co-ordinates for the flats and a few minutes later the TARDIS
materialised on the usual spot by the bins. He smiled and patted the console.
Then, glancing at the two sleeping women he programmed another co-ordinate.
When they woke, he was standing smugly by the open TARDIS door.
"Are we home?" Jackie asked.
"I can take you home any time now," The Doctor said. "It'll
be as if you were only gone a few hours. But you did say you wanted to
go shopping in New York. It's July 21st, 2000. The sun is shining. The
bad stuff is in the future. And my credit cards are all yours." The
bright smiles of the two women were worth it.
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